There used to be a type of startup called a "slide deck company." A polished deck. A market that sounded enormous. A founding team from the right universities. That was enough. Money came in, valuations went up, and the story kept going. Capital cost almost nothing. Investor FOMO was the strongest force in the market. That era is over. 1. The Q1 2026 Numbers Tell a Brutal Story Global startup funding broke all records in the first quarter of 2026, approaching $300 billion. On